forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
only you would photoshop your dick
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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