it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
