i jhust puked up my retainher.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Randomize
