I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
