I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
