She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
