Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
