so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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