My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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