shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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