Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
why is half of my head shaved?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
