big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
