Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
