Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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