btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
