Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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