I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
