my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
