It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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