I can't breathe out the right side of my face
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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