Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We are two peas in an std pod
Even my vagina gasped.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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