So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
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