Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
