Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
