when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
