Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
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