Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
