My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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