He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
