Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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