Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
