I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
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