Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize