I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
