it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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