I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
