how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Randomize
