Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The cops high fived after they tackled you
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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