do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
