Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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