Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
