He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
there is puke in my bra ... again
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
