Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
