i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
