Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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