Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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