If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
