dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
