At least make sure they are 18
Why
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
