there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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