Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
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